🔊🔊🔊 But, you know, that old Asshole was so smart and so slick, He beat up poor Kyle, and he beat him up quick! 🎄#HowTheAssholeStoleXmas 🎄

A video posted by 💜 Kyle 💜 (@mycatkyle) on Dec 17, 2015 at 5:02pm PST

"I know just what to do!" The Asshole mer'ed in his throat. And he made a quick Santy Claus hat and fur coat. 🎄 #HowTheAssholeStoleXmas 🎄 #SecondEditon

A photo posted by 💜 Kyle 💜 (@mycatkyle) on Dec 17, 2015 at 2:16pm PST

He HADN'T stopped Christmas laps from coming! They CAME! Somehow or other, they came just the same! 🎄 #HowTheAssholeStoleXmas 🎄(Edited cause I found a way better picture! 😹😹😹)

A photo posted by 💜 Kyle 💜 (@mycatkyle) on Dec 18, 2015 at 5:06am PST

And THEN They'd do something He liked least of all! Every Kyle down in Kyleville, the tall and the small, Would lay close together, with Christmas bells ringing. They'd lay hand-in-hand. And the Kyles would start sleeping! 🎄 #HowTheAssholeStoleXmas 🎄 #TBT #XmasEdition #SecondEdition

A photo posted by 💜 Kyle 💜 (@mycatkyle) on Dec 17, 2015 at 11:37am PST

They would feast on Kyle-pudding, and rare Kyle-roast beast. Which was something the Asshole couldn't stand in the least! 🎄#HowTheAssholeStoleXmas 🎄 #SecondEdition

A photo posted by 💜 Kyle 💜 (@mycatkyle) on Dec 17, 2015 at 10:34am PST

Every Kyle down in Kyleville liked Christmas a lot... But the Asshole who lived just north of Kyleville, Did NOT! 🎄#HowTheAssholeStoleXmas 🎄 #TBT #XmasEdition

A photo posted by 💜 Kyle 💜 (@mycatkyle) on Dec 17, 2015 at 5:23am PST

Then he got an idea! An awful idea! THE ASSHOLE GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA! 💡💡💡 🎄 #HowTheAssholeStoleXmas 🎄 #SecondEdition

A photo posted by 💜 Kyle 💜 (@mycatkyle) on Dec 17, 2015 at 1:06pm PST

Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant, Around the whole room, and he took every present! 🎄#HowTheAssholeStoleXmas 🎄 #TBT #XmasEdition

A photo posted by 💜 Kyle 💜 (@mycatkyle) on Dec 17, 2015 at 3:38pm PST

And what happened then? Well... in Kyleville they say, That the Asshole's small heart Grew three sizes that day! And the minute his heart didn't feel quite so tight, He whizzed onto laps through the bright morning light. #TheEnd!!! 🎄 #HowTheAssholeStoleXmas 🎄 We hope you have enjoyed #PrincessMerSpam!!! If you are interested in learning more about #PrincessMer there is a #hidden #PrincessMer page on mycatkyle.com. 😜

A photo posted by 💜 Kyle 💜 (@mycatkyle) on Dec 18, 2015 at 5:14am PST

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about Princess Mer

Princess Mer is a male princess who got his name from being the entitled a$$hole that he is. Much of Princess Mer's tantalizing personality can be gathered from the following 3 facts:

1. Despite being "rescued" it is apparent he has only lead a privileged life. How do we know? He knew the sound of the Reddi-wip can... so much so that the first time we used Reddi-wip in his presence he sprinted from the other room and proceeded to be extremely vocal about being served some.

2. He poops in the tub. When we first adopted him, we thought it was because he always wanted a clean littler box. (Hello?!? He is a princess, after all. ) So we got something ridiculous - a Litter Robot (#noregrets). Of course, he still pooped in the tub. Now we are forced to live with the bathroom door closed at all times.

3. He bullies the innocent... aka Kyle. 'Nough said.